( illustration by the very talented Laura Marcuet – https://lauramarcuet.tumblr.com/ )
- If you feel numb, you probably are… But don’t rush, let yourself stay in that numb place for a while… At the same time, accept love and nurturing from yourself and from other people…
- If you can, try to spend some time outside in nature… Give yourself time to absorb everything around you, even the smallest of things…
- Do not try to be “big and brave”, Do not think that you should be “doing better” or moving on by now… Give yourself time, no matter how long it takes… It’s a process, so let yourself feel, own and honor your feelings. It’s a part of healing…
- If you feel suicidal don’t do it! This is not a dead end. Wait! Suicidal thoughts are a sign of despair and narrowed perspectives; things will change and positives will emerge…
- Think of these words often: “When one door of happiness closes. another one opens…” Now matter how you feel right now, this is a fact and it will happen for you too…
- Do not blame and torture yourself, as there is no point to doing so… It will only prolong the pain… It is human nature to always blame ourselves first. but It is not helpful, so do not do this…
- Be angry with others, with life, with God, whatever… Write it all down… Let it all come out… Use good words, bad words, any words, and do not judge yourself for doing so… Let it all flow, let it all go… When you have anger, it may seem endless but rest assured that it actually does have a beginning, a middle and an end…
- Sleep… Insist on it. Find a way, whenever you can… You cannot have too much sleep… If you fear that you are using sleep to escape, then allow yourself to escape with sleep…
- Do not buy into the idea that you are being punished, singled out and chosen for this pain or tragedy that you are going through… Instead be still, go deeper into yourself and ask simple and “to the point” questions, expecting to find the answers… Don’t accept “I don’t know” as an answer… This is not an answer… You do have awareness and you do have answers and you can find them, and they will be good and correct…
- Take time and get comfortable with the huge hole you may feel both in your heart and in your life,.. Do not rush to fill or avoid it… Even if it seems difficult, start to dream again, starting with the smallest of things… You are going to get through this time and you will emerge an even stronger and better person!
