1. If you feel numb, you probably are. Do not rush; let yourself stay in that numb place for a while; at the same time accept love and nurturing from yourself to yourself and from other people.
2. If you can try to spend sometime outside in nature, give yourself time to absorb everything around you, even the smallest of things.
3. Do not try to be “big and brave” or think that you should be “doing better” or moving on by now.
Give yourself time however long it takes, it’s a process so let yourself feel, own and honor your feelings. it’s a part of healing.
4. If you feel suicidal “don’t do it”. It’s not an end. Wait! This is a sign of despair and narrowed perspectives; things will change and positives will emerge.
5. Think of these words often “when one door of happiness closes another one opens. ” However you feel this is a fact and it will happen for you to.
6. Do not blame and torture yourself; there is no point; it will only prolong the pain; it is human nature to always blame ourselves first. It is not helpful so do not do this.
7. Be angry with others, with life, with God. Write it all down; let it come out; use good words, bad words and do not judge yourself for doing so. Let it flow, let it go. If you have anger, it may seem endless but actually it does have a beginning, a middle and an end.
8. Sleep… Insist on it. Find a way, whenever you can. You cannot have too much sleep for a while, if you fear you are using it to escape then allow yourself to escape with sleep.
9. Don’t buy into the idea that you are being punished, singled out or chosen for this pain or tragedy that you are going through. Instead be still, go deeper into yourself and ask simple – to the point – questions and expect to find the answers. Do not accept “I dont know”; this is not an answer. You do have awareness and you do have answers and you can find them, and they will be good and correct.
10. Take time and get comfortable with the huge hole you may feel both in your heart and in your life, do not rush to fill it or to avoid it. Even if it seems difficult, start to dream again starting with the smallest things. You are going to get through this time and you will emerge an even stronger and better person!