Setting Personal Boundaries

Perhaps I do not set as many personal boundaries as other people, and this can be seen as a weakness (the Fool may well be the Wise one in the end). The boundaries that I do set are generally for other people rather than for myself. Many people – it seems – need perimeters and rules, indeed boundaries to live in. Why is it at all different for me? I feel that the answer is that I do have inner depth of feelings and an awareness of who I am, therefore this also gives me real feelings of strength and security. I see that as humans we have somehow slipped into the belief that boundaries are necessary for order and self-preservation. The concept of boundaries itself helps people to feel individual, unique and important on a basic level, free even to express our personalities and all that we believe ourselves to be.

Boundaries, limits and limitations are taught from generation to generation rather than felt. Animals have hunting grounds and boundaries. We can easily trace this animalistic part of our nature, but do we need still to be applying it in modern times? Children – we are assured – need to learn about boundaries. This truth does appear to work so far, but how far? Boundaries do work without doubt for the materialistic and the egocentric, but why stop there?

I asked a few persons around me for their opinions on boundaries: a fourteen-year-old young man said that boundaries separate friends and friendships because of jealousy, and fights to change and control.

A twelve-year-old girl said that boundaries are unfair for everyone, “they stop everyone from doing what they want to do”. And one adult said that “beyond boundaries lays the heart of human kind”.

Is having children more than wanting something to love and control? Of course it can be. Why continue accepting what has always been? We could instead move on to a reality without boundaries, without assuming that everything will collapse. Envisage the positive instead of the negative. Create and allow ourselves to participate in a far more open, trusting, relaxed and joyful life experience. When you accept that you do not need boundaries, you realize and accept also that you do already have vast amounts of space, and that you can take, use or even just luxuriate in all that you need. Experience without boundaries is endless and there for us all.

I would say that when ALL stands still bathed in the light of each’s uniqueness, others will watch in awe, lift up their heads and begin the journey forwards, home, to the heart of the self and the essence of being.

I would love to hear from others who would like to create and live in a world without boundaries and who know that they are ready now to move forward, to experience and create a new and different world.

August 1998

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